Wrigleyville Wastecases To Watch Out For: The Bye Bye Liver Guide

Wrigleyville Wastecases To Watch Out For: The Bye Bye Liver Guide

 

We here at Bye Bye Liver have experienced the wonderful circus of Wrigleyville bustling with every type of drunk stumbling down Clark Ave you can feverishly imagine. Most folks are harmless, hilarious and worth enjoying a drink with – however, there are some types to steer clear of. Soak in the list below to avoid black eyes, blackouts and regretful one-night stands. Unless, that’s what you’re in to. In that case, you are probably one of the following…

The guy that has to put his arm around you when talking – This guy reeks of Alpha-male sauce and needs to control every situation, even though he lost control of standing straight three hours ago. Drink with him and you’ll play right into whatever twisted story gets you both arrested tonight.

The couple that keeps making out at the bar – Go the fuck home! You can Netflix and chill at your studio and not show everyone a sloppy fingerbang at Old Oak. OK, we’re hard-up and jealous, so STOP TAUNTING US.

The Transformer – From meek and sober to blitzed and busting out of her blouse, her duckface striptease still doesn’t work in line at Taco Bell. 

The dick that wants to “buy a cigarette” because they “only smoke when they’re drunk” – Let us enjoy our deathly habit without feeling guilty charging you a buck for a square. If you know you’re going to get drunk, know to buy a pack, Pink Lungs. 

The Shrillist – She hasn’t learned to control her liquor-soaked vocal cords and will damage your earholes if you stand too close.

The guy that can’t take a hint – Alright, we fake-forced pleasantries and walked away laughing at you. But here you are, pretending not to stare at us like a sloppy stalker.

The Boaster – If someone starts a conversation by telling you how much bank they make or what college they played lacrosse at, know that it’s going to be a pissing contest until you stumble away.

We hope this shortlist of shitheads helps you avoid unwanted run-ins! Stop by and see a Bye Bye Liver show Fridays at Saturdays at 8pm and 10pm.

Written by Andrew Thorp with the help of the BBL Cast! Andrew Thorp performs with ‘Bye Bye Liver – Chicago’ and Directed ‘BBL Presents: The History Of Alcohol In Chicago – A Drinker’s Guide’. You can see him onstage Friday and Saturday nights at The Public House Theater and follow him on Twitter at @Athorpedo.

With help and alterations by the Bye Bye Liver Cast!

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We're changing venues! Starting on February 3rd, we’ll be running at Stage773 on Saturdays at 8pm. See you there!

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We're changing venues! Starting on February 3rd, we’ll be running at Stage773 on Saturdays at 8pm. See you there!

For The Record…

Bye Bye Liver and our drinking humor are all in good fun. You don’t have to even have a sip to enjoy yourself. Please feel free to enjoy and play along with a coke or water. We are avid supporters of theAmerican Liver Foundation and always want our patrons to be responsible and safe.

All web site design, text, graphics, the selection and arrangement thereof are Copyright 2009–2012 by BBL Productions. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Any use of materials on this website, including reproduction, modification, distribution or republication, without the prior written consent of BBL, is strictly prohibited.

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