Drunk Santa: The Latest (and tipsiest) Gift-Giving Tradition

For too long we have been participating in uncomfortable ‘Secret Santa’ gift-exchanges and receiving presents we don’t want. No more! Bye Bye Liver’s gift-giving event, ‘Drunk Santa’, makes it easy to find the right drunken gift for the person that’s hard to soberly shop for. Follow these simple rules and start your Drunk Santa event this year!

Only get gift ideas after they’re 3+ drinks in: When we’re sober, we sometimes tell people we want lame stuff. Either because the gift buyer is broke, the gift you REALLY want is inconvenient to buy or your dream present is f%$#ing insane. Alcohol strips away the silly personal walls you build up and helps you honestly ask for the super cool stuff you want. A hoverboard that doesn’t blow up IS a gift you deserve! The least you can do is drunkenly ask for it. The worst they can do is laugh in your face. Added bonus: you’ll be surprised when you open your gift because you were probably too drunk to remember what you asked for.

Only shop for Drunk Santa gifts when you’re wasted – Grab your designated sleigh-driver, a box of Pinot and get to shopping. You can play it safe and buy the gift they drunkenly asked for, or not – you’re in control (mostly). Your level of intoxication helps you transcend to a level of REALLY knowing what the recipient SHOULD want, if they realize it or not. In the event they hate your buzzed buy, you can both rejoice under the influence knowing that’s how Drunk Santa rolls (see below).

Not a creature is sober when exchanging Drunk Santa gifts – Taxi’s and Ubers stand by, it’s time for the Drunk Santa party. After about an hour of eggnog and Christmas-tinis, it’s time to stumble over to the gifts. The drunkest person in the room opens the first gift and everyone else takes a drink. After you open your Drunk Santa present, you have the option to stop drinking. That’s our gift to you.  

The Bombed Exchange – After all Drunk Santa gifts are opened and blood alcohol contents are spiked, guests can swap gifts and haggle their way to the perfect present. Hard feelings give way to hard alcohol as everyone works together to get what they want. Because that’s America.

Drunk Santa calls you when you’re sleeping –  As the party winds down, whoever can still write legibly collects a list of all the people that left early or didn’t come to the party at all. Auditions are held for the best Drunk Santa voice and prank calls commence. Here are some ideas to help your prank calls reach their potential:

  • “This is the neighborhood watch. There have been sightings of a fat Caucasian male in his 60’s climbing on your roof. We recommend arming yourself with cookies in the event he successfully slides down your chimney”
  • “Hello, I’m calling on behalf of North Pole and Associates and wanted to inform you that you are a finalist in our naughty list giveaway, which includes three lumps of coal, an all-expense paid trip to your in-laws house and a celebrity meet-and-greet with The Grinch. When would you like to schedule your vacation?
  • “Hey, it’s Donner. Tonight’s the night. We’ve all had it up to here with that red-nosed F$%& and we’re going to take him out. We need your help. You still have that car of yours?  We want to make it look like an accident: all you gotta do is drive down Main St. blinking your lights at 4:05 am. We’ll throw the a$$hole in front of your car, bingo bango, Rudolph is dead-o. 

We hope you enjoy this drunken addition to your holiday fun! Visit us on our Facebook Page and let us know how your Drunk Santa party went!

Andrew Thorp performs with ‘Bye Bye Liver – Chicago’ and Directed ‘BBL Presents: The History Of Alcohol In Chicago – A Drinker’s Guide’. You can see him onstage Friday and Saturday nights at The Public House Theater and follow him on Twitter at @Athorpedo. With help from the cast of Bye Bye Liver.

Bye Bye Liver is a series of outrageous sketches, all centered around the one thing that connects all of America…Alcohol! Whether it’s the girl that should never, ever drink liquor…or that one guy that confuses courage with shots of Jameson, we’ve all known them…or been them. This is the hilarious romp that satirizes all of those fun times and f*ck ups we’ve all had when we had just one too many. Interspersed with hilarious, interactive social games, you’ll laugh until you cry at Bye Bye Liver: The Original Drinking Play.

 

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We're changing venues! Starting on February 3rd, we’ll be running at Stage773 on Saturdays at 8pm. See you there!

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We're changing venues! Starting on February 3rd, we’ll be running at Stage773 on Saturdays at 8pm. See you there!

For The Record…

Bye Bye Liver and our drinking humor are all in good fun. You don’t have to even have a sip to enjoy yourself. Please feel free to enjoy and play along with a coke or water. We are avid supporters of theAmerican Liver Foundation and always want our patrons to be responsible and safe.

All web site design, text, graphics, the selection and arrangement thereof are Copyright 2009–2012 by BBL Productions. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Any use of materials on this website, including reproduction, modification, distribution or republication, without the prior written consent of BBL, is strictly prohibited.

© 2012 BBL Productions LLC